The Mask
I want to cover my face. I need a mask. I need a solid mask without any expressions on it. Neither sad nor happy. I want people to stop starring at my face. I found out that when I am walking, I always put my hand over my lower part of my face as if I touch my lips unintentionally. I look to the ground all the time. But I need more I need to cover my whole face. I do many horrible things, I am disgusting. If people know what I am thinking about they will spit on my face. I need a mask.
I even think about those ugly things while I am asking my God for forgiveness. I need a mask, a very solid one.
When I watch a movie, I see people try to act as someone else. I am acting like them, all the time. I am acting as a nice person, as a good person, as a normal person. But one day they will discover my reality. I am afraid from that day. When my family know what a disgusting person I am. I want to be ready for that day. I want to cover my face completely. I need a mask.
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October 8th, 2007 @ 1:55 pm
I know how you feel inside. I also hate these feelings that I feel inside. They are soooooo terrible. I also feel like I need a mask.
October 9th, 2007 @ 10:43 pm
my costume…. is my hair,makeup,& clothes. i do see wearing makeup as more than trying to look better. 4 me, it’s like a barrier between me & every1 else. if i look good then noone suspects that things r wrong in my life. the mask can b a trap tho, b/c people see me as more than i am,& i’m really nothing 2 speak of.C.