I feel like a piece of wood floats over the water of a wild river. Sometimes the waves push it up and sometimes down. Sometimes it descends to the bottom and sometimes it is pushed against the hard rocks. All this because it is driven by the powerful river. When you see it floats, that […]
This is the letter I have sent to my girl since 10 years ago.
“I have waited too long the chance to speak to you but it seems it won’t come. So, I’ve decided to write to you to let my pen does what my lips failed to do.
I can’t say that I love you, […]
This is another page from my old diaries. I remember it as if it was yesterday. There was three persons only between us and that was very close indeed.
“Something has been changed in my life since last Tuesday because I was sitting close to her and watching her beautiful face. She looked, smiled and talked. […]
I found this old diaries and it seems I’ve suffered from sever depression since I was in college. I was in love with one girl who was in the same year with me. Although it has lasted for four years, we have never spoken. When I read this diaries I feel I will never change. […]
When you do your best you usually hope the best thing is going to happen. But I always hope that the worst thing won’t happen. Or I am not there when the worst thing does happen. I don’t care if some thing bad takes place as long as I am not there to be in […]
I see a new girl. She isn’t so pretty but she is nice. We don’t speak too much. I don’t have many things to say so as she. I don’t know why I think this relation will work but it seems I find someone who cares about me. She argues with me most of the […]
I expect to lose my mind soon. I try to prevent that but I think I will fail. I don’t know exactly the definition of losing mind but sometime I want to hit my head against the wall or throw any thing away or scream very loudly or say bad things.
I expect to fail. In […]
I used to play chess in high school. It was a nightmare whenever I played a new game. There were tremors during the game. My dominant hand and my head also were shaking slightly but obviously. Everybody made fun of me because of that. I was trying to stop that tremor but I couldn’t. I […]
I’ve tried many times to find out what triggers my depression. Nothing is really happened to make me feel like that. So, why? Why I feel so badly about my self. In fact, I have those thoughts but really I do nothing. They are just bad thoughts. I did some mistakes in the past but […]
The problem of depression is that you are too depressed to do anything. I am too depressed to look for a psychiatrist. I am too depressed to take any medication. I am too depressed to try anything to treat my self and make myself feels better. It is a vicious circle. Untill something happy outside […]